Cigarettes Bad - NDP Worse

Yesterday, Health Canada announced that there will be provocative new images and slogans placed on cigarette packages in order to inform consumers of the harmful effects of this deadly product. Buried deep in the report was the fact that all deadly, destructive items need to be labeled as harmful - including the New Democratic Party.

"Well, we believe it is long overdue," a guy who said he is with Health Canada told us. "Any item - or political party - which can kill tourism, business, employment and prosperity needs to be at least labeled as bad and at best, put into a rocket ship and shot to the centre of the sun."

Our contact was able to provide the a draft of the packaging the NDP would be forced to utilize (pictured above). The image of leader Carole James with failed candidate Bart Healey and MLA Diane Thorne all sharing a good hearty laugh is quite frightening.

How is the NDP dealing with this shocking news?

"We are outraged I say...outraged!", a Dipper spokesperson emoted. "As a group, we NDP were the best government the province has ever had! The 1990's rocked! I mean, we had the Fudge-It-Budget, so named because it was so sweet; we loved building decks; we provided excellent overpriced ferries and Premier Glen Clark invited the RCMP to his house to party down. We NDP are great!"

"Many problems are associated with a dangerous product like the NDP", the guy from Health Canada continued. "The NDP have short term memory issues, delusions of grander and the need to repeat things over and over, no matter how outlandish and even false. Again, my idea of the rocket ship with destination sun needs to be considered."

So how about it NDP spokesperson? How do you respond?

"We are outraged I say...outraged!", a Dipper spokesperson emoted. "As a group, we NDP were the best government the province has ever had! The 1990's rocked! I mean, we had the Fudge-It-Budget, so named because it was so sweet; we loved building decks; we provided excellent overpriced ferries and Premier Glen Clark invited the RCMP to his house to party down. We NDP are great!"

Scary...isn't it?