Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Nah...it's just Jinny whining.

The BCTF office and local union funded "teachers' associations" were in panic mode over the last twenty-four hours. It seems the ads the BC Government took out to inform the public of the progress and details of the negotiations with the teachers' union have hit a nerve.

"How dare the Government try to take on "Super" Jinny Sims, our most beloved BCTF President?" BCTF spokesperson N. Joy Spankalotti exclaimed. "As I have said before, Jinny and ONLY Jinny controls the flow of information to our cogs in the machine, er, teachers and the public at large."

Yesterday, teachers from around the province were called into "emergency meetings" or conference calls administered by the BCTF, their local office reps such as Ralph Poynting, BCTF President for Nicola Valley (remember he wanted to remove four teachers from the union for obeying the law); Terry Green, BCTF President for Okanagan Skaha; Ritchie Kendrick, BCTF President for South Okanagan Similkameen (union boss to Mr. Foster) or organizations such as the Coquitlam Teachers Association (CTA). Teachers and support staff were told that the newspaper and radio ads were distorting the truth and were "irresponsible" since they were coming out during negotiations. In response, the teachers were told to "flood your local newspapers and BC Liberal MLA offices with copies or variations of our news release expressing your outrage".

Teachers who were not present at these meetings were then contacted during lunch at school, on their cell phones or received calls at home last evening reminding them "of [their] duty to support the BCTF" and that "the signing bonus is yours whether an agreement is reached by June 30th or not".

"Silence!", Spankalotti shrieked. "Those meetings were merely a private social gathering so that Jinny could share our truth about the negotiations. In short, because we are not getting everything we want so Jinny can improve the class size of her Mercedes and the composition of her bank account, then everything the Government is telling you is wrong. See? Simple."

So what part of the ads were not true? The $3,700 signing bonus if an agreement is signed by Friday? The increases of 10%, represented in the ad as hard dollar value examples of "...$7,453 more now for a first-year teacher in Surrey", and $11,855 by 2010"? Or how about...

"Shut it!", wide eyed Spankalotti shouted as she shook like a rage filled Polaroid picture. "Using true, accurate numbers by the Government to poke holes in our fanciful BCTF news releases is a clever ploy, but teachers and parents - especially the redneck ones - will not fall for it! We really want our 24% but we will take 19% so we can say to the other unions, 'see losers, we can screw over the Province and families better than your 5% to 14% increases so there!' Yep, that's what we want."

Interesting...even more interesting is the comment from the BCTF that the Government placing ads at this time to debunk the BCTF's spin may "...derail the progress we've been able to make", however the BCTF holding a strike vote during this same process just three weeks ago after this intrepid Poly leaked their strike agenda is fine?!

"Correct!", came the reply from the Spankster. "Look, we have no intention of settling and were hoping that our propaganda would be the only information out there. When the Government uses true facts and figures it muddies the water."

Also muddying the water are the streams of emails being sent to MLA and news offices around the Province. Several sources have shared the emails with us and most interesting is that 86.078% of those emails are sent from the same IP address of 134.87.18.49 - an IP registered in a "block" to the BCTF. Therefore, emails from "Bob Derkson from Burnaby; Richard Daca from Nanaimo; Crystal Pointon from Kamloops" are all from - yep, say it with me - the BCTF.

"Shut your pie hole!!!!", N. Joy shouted with the fiery of a thousand white hot suns. "All we are doing is recycling. Recycling our message in the form of 'cut and paste' from our news releases and then just having one of our Viagra filled BCTF staffers - who make a paltry starting salary of $80,000 - send out bulk emails to our lists of politicians and news outlets using the names of our union members as the author. We see nothing wrong with that."

With public support very high for teachers and at an all time low for the mob known as the BCTF, what can we expect?

"Well," Spankalotti began cautiously, "We want our 19% over three years and will not settle for anything less. So all your parents and students don't waste your time calling Jinny at the toll free number of (800) 663-9163 or emailing her or her thugs, er, associates listed here or here to express your support of the Government ads. We don't care!"

Yes...yes, we know.