Saturday, October 28, 2006

Sims Threatens Google and Poly - Sesame Street Fights Back

"You mess with the birds you mess with us" is the new rallying cry coming from one of the - formally - quietest and happiest addresses in all of PBS. That's right, Sesame Street is going hardcore.
"When we read the headline in the Vancouver Province we could not believe our permanently opened eyes," spokesperson Bert exclaimed.
And what was that headline? Why it was, "Sims, BCTF sue Google over comments in blog about B.C. politics." And what blog was that? Well, allegedly, this intrepid Poly.
Upon hearing the news that Google (Motto: You can search for things other than porn, you know!) and Poly were facing some of the same bullying tactics used on teachers earlier this year in Nicola Valley, the citizens of Sesame Street decided to fight back in the name of Big Bird and Poly.
"Me want justice for birds - and cookie - but justice first!", Cookie Monster declared. "Me want justice!"
In the statement of claim filed in B.C. Supreme Court, Jinny Sims, President of the British Columbia Teachers' Federation (BCTF) indicates she "...did not kidnap beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird and threaten to kill him/her in response to the Functional Skills Assessment test." Interesting to note, Big Bird could not be found for comment.
"Elmo knows what she says," annoying merchandising whore Elmo squeaked. "But Elmo see the pictures and Elmo knows that Photoshopped pictures on the Internet don't lie. She just don't like birds. She's a birdist."
This leads to the question of why does Sims and the BCTF have such a full, throbbing, raging hate on for Big Bird and in turn, this intrepid Poly? For this answer we turned to our usual BCTF contact, Ms. N. Joy Spankalotti.
"Ms. Sims does not hate birds," Spankalotti retorted, "She just hates conflicting verbal and written expressions which differ from her BCTF driven rhetoric. And bocce ball. She REALLY hates bocce ball."
At least one pundit is speculating that this lawsuit is in retaliation for Poly leaking the BCTF strike plan memo - a memo which received quite a bit of press and forced the BCTF to explain why they were making such plans during contract negotiations. This is similar to the defamation suit the BCTF filed against Premier Campbell in May 2005, which went nowhere.
"Silence!", Spankalotti shrieked. "If Google knows what's good for them they will obey Jinny and answer our claims!"
As of this writing, Google has not filed a statement of defense or even acknowledged the suit.
"Hehehehehe, and why should they?", Sesame Street uprising mastermind Ernie asked. "This lawsuit is without merit. In fact, it's crap. Hehehehehe"
"Oh, it's "crap" is it pumpkin head?", Spankalotti spat, "Well, you BETTER NOT post a list of easy to click on links to the allegedly offending stories which let people see the humourous and satirical nature of the posts mixed with links to source material confirming the underlying truths to which Jinny is claiming to be offensive. Now THAT would be crap!"

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got past the $ub$scription wall via Pressdisplay.com for you.
- - - - -
Sims, BCTF sue Google over comments in blog about B.C. politics

BY KEITH FRASER
STAFF REPORTER

The B.C. Teachers Federation and its president, Jinny Sims, are suing Google Inc. over allegedly defamatory comments and images posted on a blog hosted by Google.


A statement of claim filed in B.C. Supreme Court says the defamation by two unnamed contributors or authors on the blog at “bcpolyblog.blogspot.com” occurred between April 5 and June 28 this year. The remarks on the blog, which is devoted to commentary on B.C. politics, are “false and untrue,” says the court document.


It says Sims’ salary is not based on teachers’ salaries and she does not receive secret benefits.


No BCTF employee is paid $85,000 to wash Sims’ car, and neither she nor the BCTF uses intimidation tactics to ensure teachers obey BCTF orders, says the writ.


And it says Sims did not kidnap beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird and threaten to kill him/her in response to the Functional Skills Assessment tests.


The BCTF is seeking general, special, aggravated, punitive and exemplary damages.


The plaintiffs claim the right to serve the writ on Google outside B.C. Google could not be reached for comment, and no statement of defence has been filed in court.

Saturday, October 28, 2006 10:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sued by the BCTF. You haven't really arrived on the BC political scene until that happens!

Congratulations POLY.

Now you just have to get yourself sued by a school board and you can consider yourself a permanent part of the BC establishment.

Saturday, October 28, 2006 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger kootcoot said...

I'm just wondering Poly, since you is so in the know and all. Is it possible that Jinny Simms is actually Mr. Big, the the big boss, capo etc. for all organized crime in B.C. That would seem like such a big job and all. Anyway, just kinda wondering along, you know.

Could she be involved with the Legislature Raids? Was Elmo being held prisoner in the basement of the Legislature Building?

Saturday, October 28, 2006 2:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never laughed so hard in all my life!!!

I am glad to see poly is still alive and kicking. The long summer vacation the poly took was well infact looooooong.

I was beginning to think you were employed by the BC Fed.

Saturday, October 28, 2006 4:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see Christy Clark came out swinging for you Poly.

Is the writ really 20 pages long?

How many lawyers are full time staff at the BCTF?

Monday, October 30, 2006 8:47:00 PM  
Blogger Neo Conservative said...

And people are worried about avian flu? There is already some mongo illness sweeping the land that has affected about 20% of the citizenry...

"This must be what Jack Layton was babbling on about when he told Canadians there was a fourth rei... I mean, a third way."


ps... i almost pissed myself when i read this, keep up the good work.

Monday, October 30, 2006 9:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always knew Cookie was a monster of the people.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger opinionator777 said...

welcome back Poly! Keep exposing those misguided lefties!

Thursday, November 02, 2006 1:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Jinny, she really doesn't know who she is messing with:

http://glumbert.com/media/sesamestreet

Monday, November 20, 2006 8:55:00 PM  

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