Monday, April 17, 2006

NDP Offers Caucus Position to Vaughn Palmer

We here at the Poly have learned that BC Opposition Party of choice, the NDP, have offered a Caucus position to Vancouver Sun political writer and nude sunbather, Vaughn Palmer. As of press time, Mr. Palmer had not confirmed whether or not he was taking the position. Either way, this offer comes as quite a surprise.

"It really comes as no surprise," our lanky long time Leg insider noted. "If you look at the NDP's questions during Question Period, you will see that it is really just our fine Dippers reading lines from Palmer's writings."

Quite true. A look at Hansard shows that questions on issues all follow what the Palmster wrote in that morning's Vancouver Sun. We could list each item here as an individual point, however in the interest of time and fact checking we ask that you just trust us. Really, all the question topics in February and March - straight from Palmer.

"Well, we do certainly have a history of borrowing when it comes to our writings or polices," noted NDP insider Mr. X confessed. "We have Tricky Dix's memo writing, we stole that from All the President's Men. Then of course Casino Gate Minister, Mikey Farnworth's inspired Fudge-It-Budget was almost number for number just the phone numbers from the personals section in Xtra West Magazine added together in a mish mash of figures. Then of course our election slogan of "Because everyone matters" came from our Union bosses who said the original slogan of "The Unions Have Bought Our Support!" was a little too obvious."

But, why copy from Palmer? Why not just come up with original, hard hitting questions? The X-Man replied, "I mean, coming up with sound, reasonable and workable thoughts is really, really hard. We have no track record of doing this. And besides, the Unions who finance us do not want thoughts and we certainly oblige."

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Palmer would sure increase their performance in question period but James would never invite him in, she already has too many problems with Farnworth, Corrigan and Dix.

Monday, April 17, 2006 12:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Dave Barrettt said...

What does Corrigan have to do with it? I didn't realize Mr. Negativity was in the NDP caucus.

Monday, April 17, 2006 1:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This offered some promise - the budget being comprised of Xtra West phone numbers was actually funny.

Monday, April 17, 2006 3:20:00 PM  
Blogger frank said...

Corrigan wants her job dolt. Everyone knows that. Problem is he's so much a hot head that dix is taking away some of his core union support.
PS - Love Poly Blog, keep it up.

Monday, April 17, 2006 3:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's clear James has to go. Not so clear who will take over. It will be the Unions against the moderates.

Monday, April 17, 2006 8:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Mike Harcourt said...

I would like to see Vaughn in the NDP caucus. As a long time supporter of the NDP, I'm embarrassed at how disorganized we are.

Vaughn couldn't do any worse!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The NDP Com guys need a complete overhall. I don't know how half of them keep their jobs. Another sign of a weak leader.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 11:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vaughn Palmer sunbathes in the nude?

Ewwwwww grosss.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006 11:36:00 AM  

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