Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Rock, Paper Scissors Cruel to Environment?

Official Opposition Critic for the Environment, Shane "Friar Tuck" Simpson, has announced that he will be proposing a complete ban on the sport of Rock, Paper, Scissors as it is environmentally unsound.
"Makes complete sense", a spokesperson for Simpson told us. "I mean all that senseless destruction of paper by scissors. Not to mention the wasteful amount of paper required to fully cover a rock. This is a despicable game."
A cynical person would say this is waste of time. After all, one just needs to view the World Rock, Paper, Scissors Society website to realize that this is a game where hand gestures mimic the "rock, paper, scissors" forms. No negative impact to our environment whatsoever.
"And that is what is dangerous - creative thinking coupled with imagination", our whiny spokesperson contact continued. "Next people will want viable solutions to problems. How can the NDP compete with that? I'll tell you what's a waste of time, the Libs trying to solve the pine beetle problem, or providing cash for the Okanagan water study, or preventing trees being burned in forest fires. Trees don't vote...TREES DON'T VOTE!!!"
When we pointed out that Environment Minister Barry Penner and the BC Liberals are providing environmental solutions and heading off future problems, not wasting time with "game banning" a breakthrough moment occurred - the spokesperson used a creative hand gesture to indicate the Poly was number one.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

WILD !! where do you get this stuff? You must have better informers than the holman has!

Seriously though, this is the most inovative Shane has been. Your article gives him credit for thinking. Not many do.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 8:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're right on about Simpson. This is a blast!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 7:57:00 PM  
Blogger frank said...

Poly IS number one!
I log on daily now to check for new stories.


Lets make this the most looked at political Blog on the net. Holeman beware. Here comes Poly!

"Just do it"

A Huge Fan

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, the last tchree comments sounds like it came from tjhe same person

Thursday, April 20, 2006 10:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Dave Barrett said...

Leave Shane alone. Remember that if he doesn't get it right the first time, second time or even 100th time what does he care. He thinks he has a job for life in a safe NDP seat.

Competence has never been the most important criterian when choosing NDP Candidates. Shane is a perfect example of this.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Simpson is a waist of time. We need to replace him. So many of ours are. Frustrating.

Friday, April 21, 2006 7:39:00 AM  

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